[Avodah] Ad sheyeratzeh es chavero

[T613K at aol.com]

In a message dated 10/7/2008 9:11:58 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  sba at sba2.com writes:

If I  hurt someone as per above, and then notice that the same person is
saying  'Tefilas Zaka' - which includes: 
"...vehineni mochel bimechila gemureh  lechol me shechoto negdi...oy diber
alay loshon hora v'afilu hotzo'as shem  ra...velo yeonesh shum adam
besibosi..." 
- do I still need to ask his  forgiveness?



>>>>>
Yes.
 
But with one exception (IMO) -- if he doesn't know that you hurt him and  your telling him what you did (e.g., that you gossiped about him) will only  create hurt feelings and pain for him, then I think you should stifle it, don't  hurt him just so that you can cleanse your own conscience, and be grateful that  he is saying Tefilas Zaka.
 
Also I think that if you hurt him in a way that can still be fixed, without  him finding out about it, you should fix it and not tell him.  Spare his  feelings, is what I think.
 

--Toby  Katz
GCT
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