[Avodah] Ad sheyeratzeh es chavero

[Micha Berger]

On Tue, Oct 07, 2008 at 02:29:59PM -0400, T613K at aol.com wrote:
: But with one exception (IMO) -- if he doesn't know that you hurt him
: and your telling him what you did (e.g., that you gossiped about him)
: will only create hurt feelings and pain for him, then I think you
: should stifle it, don't hurt him just so that you can cleanse your own
: conscience, and be grateful that he is saying Tefilas Zaka.

Without his saying Tefilas Zaka, this is a machloqes. The CC wrote that
you do have to come to him. RYS disagreed to the extent that he wouldn't
give the seifer CC a haskamah. So RYMK asked RYS to write a letter and
include the caveat that Rav Yisrael disagrees on this one point. RYS
replied that this was insufficient, since most such letters are only
noted for their letterhead and signature, and people tend not to read
the content.

Perhaps the CC would agree if tefillas Zaka is involved, perhaps not. I
personally would guess "not", since it seems he values the person
going through the excericise of asking mechilah more than the social
dynamics involved. I would think that if hurting the other's feelings
is insufficient reason not to have to ask mechilah, how would the fact
that they happen to be mocheil already be sufficient?

GCT!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             When you come to a place of darkness,
micha at aishdas.org        you don't chase out the darkness with a broom.
http://www.aishdas.org   You light a candle.
Fax: (270) 514-1507        - R' Yekusiel Halberstam of Klausenberg zt"l