[Avodah] Ad sheyeratzeh es chavero

[Stuart Feldhamer]

RSBA:
> If I hurt someone as per above, and then notice that the same person is
> saying 'Tefilas Zaka' - which includes:
> "...vehineni mochel bimechila gemureh lechol me shechoto negdi...oy
> diber
> alay loshon hora v'afilu hotzo'as shem ra...velo yeonesh shum adam
> besibosi..."
> - do I still need to ask his forgiveness?

In my opinion, what counts here is not actually getting his forgiveness, but
the act of asking for forgiveness. It's not that Y"K isn't mechaper unless
the guy forgives you, but "ad sheyeratze at chaveiro". Therefore, if you ask
3 times in 3 different circumstances, and aren't forgiven, you've fulfilled
your obligation. On a more metaphysical level, the act of asking for
forgiveness causes in you a change of sorts which makes you more worthy to
be forgiven by Hashem. It is part of the teshuvah process.

So the answer to your question, I would say, is yes.

A related question: I forgot to ask someone for forgiveness. I feel really
bad about it but it's already Y"K and it's too late because he lives 1000
miles away. Am I just out of luck? Personally, I doubt it.

Stuart