[Avodah] Kiddushin and Nisuin

[Danny Schoemann]

>
> R'  Yosef Gavriel Bechhofer asked

I was asked twice this past week and didn't know the answer.


> Does anyone have knowledge and, preferably a reference, as to when

kiddushin and nisuin were consolidated?


The Tur (1269-1343) mentions it in Even HaEzer, chapter 62 as the current
practice.
והאידנא אין נוהגין ליארס אלא בשעת חופה

However the Beis Yosef  (1488-1575) there comments that some do and some
don't.
זה היה מנהג מקומו אבל האידנא קצת נוהגין כן וקצת נוהגין ליארס שלא בשעת חופה


The Remo (c. 1520-1572) in Even HaEzer, Chapter 55 also mentions it as the
current practice.
והמנהג פשוט עכשיו לקרות חופה מקום שמכניסין יריעה פרוסה על גבי כלונסות
ומכניסין תחתיה החתן והכלה ברבים ומקדשה שם ומברכין שם ברכת ארוסין ונשואין

So it seems the Ashkenazim had this custom at least 200 years before the
Sefardim started adopting it.

Further research shows that the Gaonim started the trend. To quote the rest
of my conversation with Gemini verbatim:

While specific responsa that directly and explicitly command the
consolidation of the two ceremonies are not easily found in extant Geonic
literature, the underlying trend and reasoning are addressed in a broader
context. The moral and social concerns that led to the later consolidation
are found in discussions about the proper conduct of a betrothed couple.

For instance, the responsa of **Rav Hai Gaon** (939-1038) touch on the
moral implications of the long waiting period. While he does not codify a
change to the wedding ceremony itself, his writings reflect the communal
anxiety over the time between *kiddushin* and *nisuin*, as he writes about
the severe transgressions that might occur if the couple is not married
quickly and properly.

Another example is found in the responsa of **Rabbi Sherira Gaon** (c.
906-1006). His responsa, while also not directly consolidating the
ceremonies, show the *minhag* (custom) of his time in Bavel (Babylonia),
which reflected a more immediate wedding following the betrothal agreement
than what was common in Talmudic times. The shift in practice began
incrementally, often driven by the rabbinic leadership's response to
community issues.

This gradual shift is why the Tur and other later codifiers mention the
practice as a contemporary *minhag* that has developed over time, rather
than a single, explicit ruling from a specific Gaon. The consolidation was
a collective and widespread response to communal needs rather than a
specific *takanah* (decree) from a single Geonic authority.

(You can see my entire conversation return Gemini here:
https://g.co/gemini/share/952ccbaef0fa )

Kol Tuv

Danny

P. S. I have added some rules to my Gemini: 1. Don't quote non-jewish
sources (including x-ian and missionary). 2. Include (birth - death) dates
whenever mentioning a person. 3. Don't change facts when editing my
writing. (Not relevant to this discussion)
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