[Avodah] Wedding Attendance During Your Part of Sefira

Micha Berger micha at aishdas.org
Fri May 13 07:01:14 PDT 2022

On Thu, May 12, 2022 at 7:20pm EDT, Zev Sero wrote:
> On 12/5/22 09:31, Prof. L. Levine via Avodah wrote:
> > There was a time when the Kallah was brought to the men's side of the
> > hall, she sat down next to her Chasan, and men danced in front of them.
> > In many circles this is no longer done today.
> In those circles where it is not done today it was never done.

Central to the discussion of when it is permissable to tell a half-truth
or even lie is a famous machloqes between Beis Hillel and Beis Shammai.

Kesuvos 17a:
    Keitzad meraqdim lifnei hakallah?
    Beis Shammai omerim: Kemos shehi
    Beis Hillel omerim: Kalah na'ah vachassudah
    Ameru lahen Beis Shammai leVeis Hillel: ... vehaTorah amrah "MiDevar
        sheqer tirchaq"?

Seems the men danced before the kallah. Once can not say "in those circles
... it was never done". We all get our mesorah from Beis Hillel, no?

(I get a kick out the fact that Beis Hillel's words became a song lyric
sung at weddings. Are the guests trying to imply they are bending the

On the next day, Fri, May 13, at 2:44am EDT, Zev Sero wrote:
> On 12/5/22 15:43, Micha Berger via Avodah wrote:
>> Unless one is from Frankfurt (see MB 493:15, quoting Siddur Derekh
>> haChaim) or Vienna (Be'rei Heiteiv 493:3, quoting the Or Zarua), allowing
>> a wedding the night of Lag baOmer is recent.

> Or unless one is a chassid (unless you're including that in "recent").


I was trying to say, Sepharadim and Eastern Europeans (the Rama's
"medinos eilu") had a minhag to mourn the night of Lag baOmer. And
Western Ashkenazim (such as the examples of Frankfurt and Vienna) had
the minhag not to, which is apparently of comparable age..

And thus the minhag to make celebrations the night of Lag baOmer for Yom
Simchas Rashbi is for the vast majority of us, a minhag more recent than,
and deviates from, the SA.


Micha Berger                 Today is the 27th day, which is
http://www.aishdas.org/asp   3 weeks and 6 days in/toward the omer.
Author: Widen Your Tent      Yesod sheb'Netzach: When does domination or
- https://amzn.to/2JRxnDF             taking control result in relationship?

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