[Avodah] Kivrey Avos

[T613K at aol.com]

On 21/06/2012 3:42 PM, T613K at aol.com wrote:
> [1] What  about the idea that those who have passed away come back and
> go to the  simchas of their relatives and descendants?  They must know
> about  the weddings at least!  Or do you have to explicitly invite them
> if  you want them to come? [--TK]

From: Zev Sero <zev at sero.name>
The  common minhag is to go to the graves and invite them.  Do they not  do
that in your family?  (What if the graves are not accessible, or  they
never came to kever yisroel?  Does that mean they don't come?   I don't
know.  Maybe if you invite those whose graves you can access,  they will
inform the others?)



-- 
Zev  Sero         
zev at sero.name    



>>>>>
 
 
"Do they not do that in your family?" Yes we do do that in our family, if  
the cemetery is reasonably accessible. I guess that means my paternal  
grandparents go to family weddings in America and my maternal grandparents go to  
weddings in Israel. But in reality I thought that going to the cemetery and 
 formally inviting the grandparents was just a nice thing to do -- to show 
them  honor and show they are still loved and missed. I assumed they would 
come even  if not formally invited -- and even if they have to cross the 
ocean to get to  the wedding.   I have not yet had the zechus to marry off my 
own  children -- I must ask my brother in Toronto if he sent someone to the 
bais olam  in Bet Shemesh to invite my grandparents to the Toronto weddings.  
I highly  doubt that the siblings in Israel sent anyone to New Jersey to 
invite my  grandparents who are buried there, when they made their children's 
weddings  in E'Y.
 
Anyone know sources re whether the grandparents will come even if not  
formally invited?  And do you have to go the cemetery -- or could you just  kind 
of address the air, or a photo of your grandparents, and invite them that  
way?  And hm, I wonder if you could do something like what Lubs do at the  
Ohel -- send an invitation to the cemetery office, and ask them to read it at 
 the kevarim of the grandparents who are buried there?  I wonder what the  
cemetery workers would think of such a request?  And do you leave the  
invitation there -- on the ground?


--Toby Katz
=============
Romney -- good  values, good family, good  hair


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