[Avodah] To Stand or Not to Stand for a Chosson and Kallah

T613K at aol.com T613K at aol.com
Wed Nov 2 15:27:12 PDT 2011



 

From: "Prof. Levine" <llevine at stevens.edu>
>It was never  an issue until seats were put out for the ceremony. Until
>recently the  ceremony was always outside and all the people stood through
>the entire  ceremony.? This is still done at many weddings. Putting out
>seats &  having the ceremony inside seems to be the chukas hagoyim issue,
>not  standing for C&K.[--RHM]

I recall being at an outside chupah at least  20 years ago when there
were chairs set up and people  sat.






>>>>
 
You seem to think that "at least 20 years ago" was a long time  ago! and 
that something you saw done twenty years ago is an "old"  minhag!  
 
Actually there are numerous "ancient" minhagim that are widely known and  
practiced today, yet are even less than twenty years old  (e.g., 40 women  
baking challa for a refuah sheleimah for a sick person ,or another example, 
the  L "chiyuv" of having diagonal menorah for Chanukah).   The custom  of 
having everyone sit in neat rows for a chupa is an American custom, older  than 
20 years but less than a hundred years old.  It wasn't done in Europe,  
certainly not in eastern Europe, I'm not sure about Germany.   It  wasn't and 
still isn't done in Israel (except at my own wedding because paternal  
affection yielded to daughterly wishes) (could be maybe a few other  weddings but 
I've never seen seating at a chupa in Israel other than my  own)  Weddings 
in Europe were generally not conducted in shuls, they were  outside with 
people just crowding around.
 
Despite the fact that sitting at a chupa is a new minhag, less than a  
hundred years old, I nevertheless find the even newer minhag of standing up  for 
the chosson and kallah very annoying, because it blocks the view of 
everyone  except those lucky enough to have aisle seats.  It ruins the whole  
procession-down-the-aisle show.
 

--Toby Katz
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