[Avodah] Non-Jews Begin to Embrace Ketubah Wedding

[Zev Sero]

On Areivim, RSBA wrote:
> Zev Sero wrote:
>> The AJN Watch blog wrote:

>>> A little bird told us that at the recent meeting of the RCV [Rabbinical
>>> Council of Victoria] the majority of attendees, despite agreeing that it is
>>> unacceptable, couldn't bring themselves to officially condemn one of their
>>> members who has incorporated a 'double-ring' ceremony under the Chuppah.

>> Now hang on a minute, what exactly are you talking about?  An actual
>> double-ring kidushin, where he gives her a ring and says she's thereby
>> mekudeshes, and she gives him a ring and says he's thereby mekudash?!
>> Are you *sure* an Orthodox rabbi allowed this?  ... I can't believe
>> any O rabbi would agree to a double-ring ceremony, but I can very easily
>> believe that one would agree to a couple's demand that the bride give
>> the groom a ring.  Indeed, I've been an eid at just such a chupah, and
>> everything was done in accordance with the halacha.

> The blog has a new post from a Sydney rabbi showing that RMF indeed
> assered the choson receiving a ring under the Chuppah
> They have reproduced the teshuva there, ayen sham:
> http://tinyurl.com/4bbbzfz

This "Sydney rabbi" seriously misrepresents the teshuvah. Normally we
say "harotze leshaker yarchik eduto", but nowadays it seems that one
can hand out a teshuvah and misstate what it says, and be confident that
most or all of the audience won't bother checking.

>> The halacha actually demands that she give him an object of value, in
>> return for his assuming the obligations of the ketubah.  This is usually
>> done in private before the chupah, and usually one of the eidim gives
>> the object on her behalf, since zachin le'adam shelo befanav, and she
>> never even finds out about it.  And the eid usually gets his object back
>> afterwards, as a gift from the chatan.

> Am I the only one who has NEVER heard of this?

If you've never been an eid for a ketuba, and never learned the laws of
ketuba, then you may very well not have heard of it.  I found out about
it when preparing for that role for the first time.  But if you listen
to the ketuba and pay attention to what is said, you will hear the final
operative phrase: "and we have acquired [ukenina] from....our groom,
for Mrs....this virgin, as all that is written and explained above, with
an object that is fit to be used for acquisitions [bemana dechasher
lemiknaya beih".   That means the witnesses, acting in the bride's name
and on her behalf, gave the groom something of value in return for his
commitments in the ketuba.

-- 
Zev Sero                      The trouble with socialism is that you
zev at sero.name                 eventually run out of other people’s money
                                                      - Margaret Thatcher