[Avodah] Non-Jews Begin to Embrace Ketubah Wedding

[Micha Berger]

On Thu, Feb 17, 2011 at 01:14:41AM +1100, SBA wrote:
:> The halacha actually demands that she give him an object of value, in
:> return for his assuming the obligations of the ketubah. This is usually
:> done in private before the chupah, and usually one of the eidim gives
:> the object on her behalf, since zachin le'adam shelo befanav, and she
:> never even finds out about it. And the eid usually gets his object back
:> afterwards, as a gift from the chatan.

: Am I the only one who has NEVER heard of this?

I think RZS is referring to the the closing words of the kesevah, right
after saying the deal is real and no asmachta:
    veqinyana min ... ben ... chasan denan
    lemaras ... bas ... desulta
    de'aal kol mah dekasuv umfurash le'eil
    bemana dekasher lemiqnaya bei,
    vehakol sharir veqayam.
    Ne'um...

But that's not payment, that's qinyan sudar. The *iqqar* is the chasan
giving it, not the other way around.

That said, among those O rabbis I know who preside over weddings where the
man gets a ring, all of my contacts require the ring be given elsewhere.
If her ring is given as part of an exchange, it risks requiring the net
value increase for the bride to be shaveh perutah. Men's fingers generally
being wider, and thus their rings heavier / more valuable, that's not
likely anyway. Typically they would tell the kallah to give the ring in
the yichud room, so as to separate the qinyanim on the respective rings.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             The waste of time is the most extravagant
micha at aishdas.org        of all expense.
http://www.aishdas.org                           -Theophrastus
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