[Avodah] Children at a Wedding

[Joseph C. Kaplan]

   Me: why should there be any minhag at all?  There are so many differing factors that are relevant in trying to do the best thing for both the children and the marrying couple; 

    RAB: On the contrary. Would you be able to tell your child "Sorry, you can't come to my wedding. My new husband/wife doesn't like you/may not like you/feels uncomfortable with you around/may feel uncomfortable with you around, etc."

    Much better to have a fixed minhag. Sorry kid, you can't come, that's the minhag!

    Me: Sure it's easier.  But one part of being a parent is knowing when to say "no" and that's not easy.  But that's why we get paid the big bucks.  And, of course, what if we want to say "yes" which would be appropriate in many cases.  In such a case, how do we answer the kids question "but isn't the minhag not to?"  Hey, let's take some responsibility and not rely on the crutch of "minhag."

    Joseph Kaplan
-------------- next part --------------
An HTML attachment was scrubbed...
URL: <http://lists.aishdas.org/pipermail/avodah-aishdas.org/attachments/20091102/328d5ec3/attachment-0001.htm>