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<DIV style="FONT: 10pt arial"> Me: why should there be any minhag at
all? There are so many differing factors that are relevant in trying to
do the best thing for both the children and the marrying couple;<SPAN
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<DIV><SPAN class=468590706-02112009><FONT color=#0000ff size=2
face=Arial>RAB: On the contrary. Would you be able to tell your child
"Sorry, you can't come to my wedding. My new husband/wife doesn't like
you/may not like you/feels uncomfortable with you around/may feel
uncomfortable with you around, etc."</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
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<DIV><SPAN class=468590706-02112009><FONT color=#0000ff size=2
face=Arial>Much better to have a fixed minhag. Sorry kid, you can't come,
that's the minhag!</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
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<DIV><SPAN class=468590706-02112009><FONT color=#0000ff size=2
face=Arial>Me: Sure it's easier. But one part of being a parent is
knowing when to say "no" and that's not easy. But that's why we get
paid the big bucks. And, of course, what if we want to say "yes" which
would be appropriate in many cases. In such a case, how do we answer
the kids question "but isn't the minhag not to?" Hey, let's take some
responsibility and not rely on the crutch of
"minhag."</FONT></SPAN></DIV>
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<DIV><SPAN class=468590706-02112009><FONT color=#0000ff size=2
face=Arial>Joseph
Kaplan</FONT></SPAN></DIV></BLOCKQUOTE></BLOCKQUOTE></BODY></HTML>