[Avodah] Love of the Imahos [was: Your brother's a Mumar; here's the solution!]

[Yitzhak Grossman]

On Tue, 1 Jul 2008 09:35:21 EDT
T613K at aol.com wrote:

> From: Yitzhak Grossman _celejar at gmail.com_ (mailto:celejar at gmail.com) 
> 
> >>But note  that none of the Imahos are described as loving their  husbands.<<
> 
> >>>>>
> Hello?   Leah?!

Where does the Torah state, or even imply, that she loved him?

> The poignancy of that whole situation has often struck me.  Leah and  Rochel 
> each had what the other most desperately longed for.  And both were  left with 
> thwarted longings that were never quite fulfilled.  
>  
> All her life Leah longed for her husband's love -- every one of her sons  was 
> named with reference to this longing!  And when Rochel died -- Yakov  /still/ 

It is clear that she was dissatisfied with his level of affection for
her, but that doesn't necessarily imply that she loved him.  A married
woman may desire her husband's love, and certainly feel mortified at
being hated or disliked ('snuah')  without necessarily loving him.
I do see your point, though.  It is clear that she was not indifferent
to him.

> didn't make Leah's tent his primary abode, but instead put his bed in  
> Bilhah's tent.  Leah's pain over this situation must have been  palpable -- it 
> induced her son Reuven to interfere on his mother's behalf  and try to get his 
> father, finally, to make Leah his primary wife -- but  Reuven's plans backfired.

The story may indicate her or her son's sense of humiliation at being
passed over for a maidservant, rather than her feelings of unrequited
love.

> When you think about the whole "dudaim" story it's all there -- the whole  
> heartbreak, the pain on both sides.  

Acutely stated.

> Rochel:  "Your little boy brought you flowers?  Please, I have  no little 
> boy, could I please just have those flowers?"
>  
> Leah:  "What do I care about the flowers?  My husband doesn't  love me, he 
> loves you, but please, could I just have this one night with  him?"
>  
> Yes, I know that Yakov did love Leah too, but relatively, she felt  unloved.  
> Rochel was always his true zivug and his true wife, which he  mentioned even 
> on his deathbed, so many years after Rochel's death.

> --Toby Katz

Yitzhak
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