[Avodah] off the derech

[Kenneth Miller]

R' Saul Newman wrote:

> r oberstein  at c-c  comments---
> Rashi on this week's parsha comments that the parents of the
> engaged girl who is beng stoned have to be there when the
> sentence is carried out. "See the one you raised?" seems to
> me to be public shaming of the mother and father for having
> a child go far off the derech. Does the Torah really mean
> that if a frum family has a child who leaves Yiddishkeit,
> becomes an addict, gets into big legal trouble, that his
> father and mother should be publicly held accountable?
> Isn't that what Rashi is saying and does it not negate much
> of what we have learned subsequently. Can you imagine how
> hurtful this is for anyone who isn't fortunate enough to
> have 100% sucess with all of their children. This affects
> people from the very best families.

Please note that (in my opinion) the first sentence is much more precise than the rest of what appears here. I'm referring specifically to the words "FAR off the derech". Parents whose child goes *moderately* off the derech would not have to suffer this indignity.

Good people can disagree about whether someone "who isn't fortunate enough to have 100% sucess with all of their children" should be suffering any indignity at all. My point is that this idea in the parsha, even according to R' Oberstein, is not directed at the great majority of parents who were only 90% successful, but only to those whose child went FAR off the derech.

Akiva Miller
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