[Avodah] troubling halacha

[Rich, Joel]

<< According to RYBS and others, the purpose of aveilus is to give a
constructive means of channeling the emotions of mourning.
One might say that there is little machloqes. RYBS might hold that
aveilus is catharsis, and the kibud av va'eim is in not downplaying the
loss.>>

According to this one should certainly tell an avel about his loss so
that he can experience this catharsis. That is why aveilim are so upset
when they are not told and cannot sit shiva with the family

<<Thought experiment - someone knows that a close relative is ill and
unlikely to make it past the next month. He goes to a remote island and
instructs that no one contact him.  He returns 3 months later and gets
the shmua rechoka that his relative had died 2 months prior.  He mourns
as a shmua rechoka.  Has he done anything wrong? anything not
preferred?>>

Her has done absolutely nothing wrong which is the basis of R.
Zilberstein's psak (and the KSA). The question is what if he is not on
an island but in another country and would prefer sitting shiva. Why
hide the information and aggravate the person just not to be the bearer
of bad news.
As others have pointed out the situation has changed with the
introduction of modern communication methods and so the relative on the
remote island is not relevant to real life


--
Eli Turkel
===========================================
Imho these are somewhat interrelated- it's not just R'YBZ-there is an
opinion that the avel greets menachamim with "baruch dayan emrt" because
the purpose is for him to be matzdik the din -assumedly this could be
both halachik and cathartic (actually bound up in one)

Also you didn't comment on "anything not preferred?>>"
KT
Joel Rich
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