[Avodah] yuhara

[Micha Berger]

On Wed, May 24, 2023 at 05:57:50AM +0300, Joel Rich via Avodah wrote:
> If something isn't "mkubal" (accepted practice), even though it has
> significant mkorot, (sources) when does it become yuhara (arrogance) to do
> it? ...

A little scene setting...

Yuhara is someone trying to look "holier than thou". And so the question
as asked would simply be reduced to "it depends on the person's intent for
doing it", and where in that chulent of motives sits the desire to be seen
as really obervant -- and everything we do is out of a mixture of motives.

Simple test: Do you do it when all alone without the urge to work it
into the conversation later?

However, mechzei keyuhara, doing things that "only" look like yuhara
[I assume: to the unbiased observer] is also prohibited. (Rama, OC 17:2,
on the subject of women wearing tzitzis.) Even if one isn't really acting
on yuhara. And that makes this question interesting again.

The AhS (OC 3:2 <https://www.sefaria.org/Arukh_HaShulchan%2C_Orach_Chaim.3.2>)
brings up an example of RJR's question. There is a gemara (Shabbos
60b) that gives a text to be said to ask leave of one's accompanying
mal'akhim when going into the bathroom. RYME explains it in se'if 1,
and then se'if 2 opens "but we aren't nohagim to say it." They, whose
minds were constantly davuq baH', "yosheiv beseiser elyon", they felt
the presence of the mal'akhim.
    ... [H]owever, we can not feel their holiness at all. Our saying
    this would be considered arrogant and egotistical and it is mechzei
    keyuhara as well. Certainly the ish qadosh who is involved with Torah
    in holiness needs to say this, but not us regular people. Vekhein
    iqar, vekakh haminhag.

Seems to me, he is saying that someone on that level would only be veering
from the general custom in private. (And nearly no one is on that level
anyway, but that's tangential to RJR's question.)

And personally, I would generalize that... If one is really convinced
that the textually backed pesaq or minhag is the right one to do, despite
minhag, one would take on doing it -- but only if they can do so without
witnesses. No "mechzei". Besided, if the person wants others to know,
likely their problem is yuharah, not mechzei keyuhara, anyway.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger                 Today is the 48th day, which is
http://www.aishdas.org/asp   6 weeks and 6 days in/toward the omer.
Author: Widen Your Tent      Yesod sheb'Malchus: What binds different
- https://amzn.to/2JRxnDF           people together into one cohesive whole?