[Avodah] taker but not giver

[Micha Berger]

Just to close this conversational circle as it usually goes, since this
is the point at which it generally ends...

On Wed, Feb 08, 2023 at 01:09:08AM -0500, Zev Sero via Avodah wrote:
> And it's not just that you can't find a source before 1800.  It's that every
> posek from before then holds explicitly the opposite.  And no posek since
> then invokes "darkei shalom"; their rationale is eivah, which is exactly
> what you were taught as a child and that you now claim was not true.  Nobody
> was "misinterpreting Chazal's idiom".

Except that mishum eivah is an equally misinterpreted idiom. And I am
not clear if they are substansively different.

We have examples where the same idiom is used two ways. For example,
minhag oqeir halakhah refers to a different mechanism in Choshein Mishpat
than in the rest of halakhah. In CM, it means that since we can assume
that both parties expect he usual in their financial dealings, their
agreement is more bound by what is customary in their culture than the
halakhah. Andtherefore the application is far broader than elsewhere.

But we know this because the mechanisms are discussed, and we know
they differ.

Shouldn't our default be that if we see an idiom describing a principle
across halakhah, we should assume it refers to only one such principle,
and demand proof if somoene wants to claim that it actually refers to
two disparate ideas?

So, why am I to assume darkhei shalom is a survival strategy when used
in a discussion of Hilkhos Shabbos, when that can't be the usage WRT
how people contribute toward the Eruv (Eiruvin 81a) or when a wife wants
to keep maasei yadeha (Kesuvos 58b)?

What are the grounds for saying that mishum eivah ever means "because
otherwise they may come to hate us enoug to kill us"? In other contexts
it means "because it fosters hatred, and hatred is bad."


Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger                 "As long as the candle is still burning,
http://www.aishdas.org/asp   it is still possible to accomplish and to
Author: Widen Your Tent      mend."
- https://amzn.to/2JRxnDF        - Anonymous shoemaker to R' Yisrael Salanter