[Avodah] why believe at all

[Akiva Miller]

.
R' Joel Rich asked:

> In the post modern times that we live you can’t prove anything
> to anybody ( like Ramban – no slam dunk proofs in Gemara
> commentary)
> Perhaps the best we can hope for is weight of evidence, but if
> we hang our hopes on the incredible wisdom of Torah proof, we
> should be aware that there are others selling other incredible
> wisdom as well. I wish I had a better answer, but this is a
> subset of the "why believe at all" issue. I often think about
> Rav Lichtenstein’s piece on the source of faith being faith
> itself. The challenge is that if you don’t have that "loving
> feeling" yourself, somebody else articulating it to you is not
> necessarily communicable unless you can do the Vulcan Mind Meld.
> I wish I had answers.

I believe that Hashem designed the universe such that it is impossible to
have a "slam dunk proof" of His existence - or of His (chalila)
nonexistence. All the proofs I've ever heard (in either direction) boil
down to a proposition which is so incredibly likely (or unlikely) that the
converse is preposterous. We call it a "proof" because the arguments
against it are negligible. But NOT slam-dunk impossible. "Negligible" is in
the eyes of the beholder.

In case I've lost anyone, I'll give a simple example: The "Artist" proof.
This world is so detailed and perfect that it could not possibly have
arisen by chance; there MUST be a Creator. Yet there are indeed intelligent
people who deny this, and they can rationally explain their views that the
universe IS a random result.

Some might say that there does exist a slam dunk proof; we just haven't
discovered it yet. I disagree. Such a proof will never be found. Within the
context of Torah belief, such a proof is categorically impossible, because
it would conflict with Bechira. Such a proof would force us to believe, and
Hashem designed the universe to allow Freedom of Belief, and therefore (I
believe) such a proof is not allowed under the rules.

> ... if you don’t have that "loving feeling"
> yourself, somebody else articulating it ...

Some people think that if an idea can't be proven, then it is not
necessarily true, and they honestly don't understand why we're so gullible
as to believe it. Someone on this list (not sure who, probably RJR or RMB)
once pointed out that there are two kinds of truths: Some things are
logically provable. but there are other things that I believe because I
have *experienced* them. I will never be able to prove to you that I love
my wife, or what I had for lunch today. But because I personally
experienced these things, I KNOW them to be true.

My ancestors pointed with their fingers and eyes, and declared, "Zeh
Keili!" and I accept their testimony. Some individuals are blessed with
such experiences themselves. But, indeed, as RJR writes, without a
Vulcan Mind Meld, there's no way to communicate a first-person story to
someone else, without it turning into a second-person story.

> I wish I had answers.

Part of me wants very much to agree. The other part is warning me to be
careful of what we wish for, lest we get it. Would we really be better off
with those answers? Look through history at those who did experience
miracles openly. How long was it from Krias Yam Suf to the Egel Hazahav?
Eliyahu Hanavi led an amazing kumsitz on Har Hacarmel, and he won over the
entire nation - but for how long?

Before I stop typing, I want to express some confusion about the title of
this thread. RJR's post was about the difficulty of belief, while the title
is about "why", which is a very different thing, I think.

Why do I believe? Personally, it was never a decision that I made
deliberately. My faith was fairly weak for a very long time, but the more
Torah I learned, the more I saw how the pieces all fit together. Bit by
bit, my faith got stronger, and my doubts became [to reference a word from
several paragraphs above] negligible.

Akiva Miller
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