[Avodah] Bringing Joy to the Chosson and Kallah

[Prof. L. Levine]

>From today's OU Kosher Halacha Yomis


Q. When attending a wedding or Sheva Berachos there is a mitzvah to bring joy to the chosson and kallah. Practically speaking, what does this mean?

A. Rav Belsky zt”l (Shulchan Halevi 27:26) writes that the Gemara (Kesubos 17a) records how different Tannaim and Amoraim would dance in front of the chosson and kallah to bring them joy. Dancing in front of the chosson or kallah is certainly one way to make them happy. However, not everyone is blessed with the ability to dance. Furthermore, not everyone can dance in the center with the chosson. Instead Rav Belsky explains that the main obligation to bring joy to the chosson and kallah is by smiling and demonstrating by your countenance and actions that you believe the chosson and kallah made an excellent decision. You should go over to the chosson and kallah and bless them, compliment them on their appearance, and commend them on making such a wise decision to marry their spouse.

Question:  Given that many Orthodox weddings today have very high mechitzahs, and the men and women are, of course,  on separate sides of this partition, "How is a man supposed to speak to the Kallah, and how is a woman supposed to speak to the Chasson?" While it is not so uncommon for a man to go over to the women's side to ask his wife when she wants to go home,  women coming over to the men's side is often frowned upon!

Yitzchok Levine


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