[Avodah] Le'ilui Nishmas an Infant

[Micha Berger]

On Tue, Dec 22, 2020 at 04:01:25PM +0200, Danny Schoemann via Avodah wrote:
> I really don't know what le'ilui nishmas means at the best of times,
> since it seems to negate the entire foundation of Jewish Life, as
> described, say, by the Mesilath Yeshorim.

> I.e.: Your place in Neshoma-Land is defined by your actions down here.

And this is murach from statements like the Iqarim (4:33) saying that
geihinom's fires are those of shame. Or that Rabbeinu Yonah (Shaarei
Teshuvah 4:1) compares oneshim to illness -- aveiros cause spiritual
illness which has symptoms.

RCVolozhiner (Derekh haChaim 1:21) says that onesh is causal based on
Eiruvin 19a "'emeiq' - shema'amiqin lahen geihinom" -- the sinner is
called "eimeq" because they deepen geihinom for themselves.

All of which argue against R' Zvi Lampel (haBaal haDynamics) the idea
that zekhus or lack thereof can be a fungible.

As does just our basic instincts of fairness.


So, to get back to RDS's difficulty:

I heard R Tendler discuss it with a talmid who was sitting shiv'ah. I
also heard the same answer (same as far as I can tell) from R Herschel
Schachter.

A person's place in the olam ha'emes is indeed defined by their actions
down there. As are the consequences of those actions. A person isn't
getting the zekhus of the child saying Qaddish, he is getting the zekhus
of raising a child who would say Qaddish.

Now, adding my own layer:

And if the son figures as much, and decides that therefore actually saying
Qaddish is redundant, to the extent that that decision was caused by the
parent in question, that also reflects on the quality of their feelings
attitudes and behaviors when they were down here.

And in my earlier example of Re'uvein who was meqareiv Shim'on. Re'uvein's
feelings attitudes and actions are the same whether it later turns
out that Shim'on is r"l infertile or raises generations of shomerei
Torah uMitzvos. And so, I would think that even if those children never
materialize, Re'uvein's sekhar would be the same. We would just have
less testimony to the greatness of his actions in olam hazeh. (Presumably
Shim'on would be positively influencing people in other ways. The impact
is just less obvious without the concentration of impacted people that
parenthood creates.)

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger                 Nothing so soothes our vanity as a display of
http://www.aishdas.org/asp   greater vanity in others; it makes us vain,
Author: Widen Your Tent      in fact, of our modesty.
- https://amzn.to/2JRxnDF            -Louis Kronenberger, writer (1904-1980)