[Avodah] Mechila

[Cantor Wolberg]

You are asking a loaded question so I will have to answer it on a few layers.
First of all, I’m not sure what YOU mean by a verbal assault.
The legal definition of assault varies from state to state but generally: 
Simple assault is an attempt to do a serious bodily harm to another person,
or actually committing an act to put another in fear of serious bodily injury.  
Simple assault is usually classified as a misdemeanor.
So if by verbal assault, a husband or wife (without touching each other), puts
the other in fear of being hurt, then it meets the criteria of a crime (misdemeanor)
and in most states mandates an arrest.
With that scenario, yes, I would say the same for a spouse who verbally assaults the other.
What most lay people confuse assault with is a BATTERY which is any unlawful offensive physical contact 
with another person, with or without his or her consent. ... Unlike the crime of assault, battery requires that actual contact is made, 
while assault charges can be brought with only the threat of violence.
Though it may seem extreme to say that you don’t deserve your spouse if you commit a simple assault or battery, our own sages
have said that if your wife burns your food, you have every right to divorce her.
I think it boils down to the specifics and whole picture of each case.

I believe your question may have meant what if a spouse speaks disparagingly to his/her spouse.
In other words, what if a husband demeans his wife and calls her stupid or ugly, etc.
My feeling is that you are dealing with the tip of the iceberg and most likely you have a bad marriage
and a dysfunctional relationship.





> On Dec 20, 2018, at 1:03 AM, Alexander Seinfeld <seinfeld at daasbooks.com> wrote:
> 
> 
>> I have no sympathy for a husband who assaults his wife or a wife who
>> assaults her husband. If you assault your spouse, you do not deserve
>> your spouse.
> 
> Would you say the same for a spouse who assaults his/her spouse verbally?
> 
> 

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