[Avodah] Support?

[Ben Bradley via Avodah]

R' AM wrote:

'Please note the Aruch Hashulchan YD 383:2, who writes "yesh le'esor"
regarding chibuk v'nishuk when either spouse is in aveilus. And he
cites Koheles 3:5 - "There is a time for hugging, and a time to keep
distant from hugging." I would be surprised to find that the halacha
forbids this comfort from a spouse, and prefers that one get this
"needed" comfort from someone else.'

Halachos of contact between husband and wife are more strict than with strangers, vis all the harchakos during nidda which are unique to a spouse, due to the familiarity of pas b'salo. So I wouldn't be as surprised.

Although just to return my theme for a moment, If I'm right then the act is one of outright mitzva, probably including kiddush hashem. If I'm wrong, then the act is one of aveira lishma. Now I realise that we don't hold with aveira lishma these days, but when the overall cheshbon is as stated, I think I'd be willing to chance it. Especially when you add the possibility, as R'MB mentioned, that if you don't do it you're a chasid shoteh.
Because then the cheshbon becomes tzadik or chasid shoteh for not doing it vs big mitzva or aveira lishma for doing it. Given that in any given circumstance we wouldn't be able to be clear about which of these would apply, I think the worst of those four options is probably the chasid shoteh.

If this was on Areivim I'd sign off with :)

Ben
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