<html>
<head>
<meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=iso-8859-1">
<style type="text/css" style="display:none;"><!-- P {margin-top:0;margin-bottom:0;} --></style>
</head>
<body dir="ltr">
<div id="divtagdefaultwrapper" style="font-size:12pt;color:#000000;font-family:Calibri,Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;" dir="ltr">
<p><br>
</p>
<br>
<div style="color: rgb(0, 0, 0);"><font size="2"><span style="font-size:10pt;">
<div class="PlainText">R' AM wrote:</div>
<div class="PlainText"><br>
'Please note the Aruch Hashulchan YD 383:2, who writes "yesh le'esor"<br>
regarding chibuk v'nishuk when either spouse is in aveilus. And he<br>
cites Koheles 3:5 - "There is a time for hugging, and a time to keep<br>
distant from hugging." I would be surprised to find that the halacha<br>
forbids this comfort from a spouse, and prefers that one get this<br>
"needed" comfort from someone else.'<br>
</div>
<div class="PlainText"><br>
</div>
<div class="PlainText">Halachos of contact between husband and wife are more strict than with strangers, vis all the harchakos during nidda which are unique to a spouse, due to the familiarity of pas b'salo. So I wouldn't be as surprised. </div>
<div class="PlainText"><br>
</div>
<div class="PlainText">Although just to return my theme for a moment, If I'm right then the act is one of outright mitzva, probably including kiddush hashem. If I'm wrong, then the act is one of aveira lishma. Now I realise that we don't hold with aveira lishma
these days, but when the overall cheshbon is as stated, I think I'd be willing to chance it. Especially when you add the possibility, as R'MB mentioned, that if you don't do it you're a chasid shoteh. </div>
<div class="PlainText">Because then the cheshbon becomes tzadik or chasid shoteh for not doing it vs big mitzva or aveira lishma for doing it. Given that in any given circumstance we wouldn't be able to be clear about which of these would apply, I think the
worst of those four options is probably the chasid shoteh. </div>
<div class="PlainText"><br>
</div>
<div class="PlainText">If this was on Areivim I'd sign off with :)</div>
<div class="PlainText"><br>
</div>
<div class="PlainText">Ben</div>
</span></font></div>
</div>
</body>
</html>