[Avodah] rights of adopted parents

[Micha Berger via Avodah]

On Sat, May 21, 2016 at 11:00:32PM +0300, Eli Turkel via Avodah wrote:
: see
: http://dinonline.org/2015/12/07/adoption-in-halachah/

: and especially
: http://www.israelnationalnews.com/Articles/Article.aspx/12721

: In a certain sense, the moral obligation of an adopted child is even
: greater...

The thing is, though, the conversation before this one, which I am
presuming motivated this post, was in particular about kibud av
va'eim.

Yes, an adoptive child in chayav in haqaras hatov and kavod harav.

But on what grounds does R' Zilberstein argue that the specific mitzvos
of kabeid es avikha or ish imo ve'aviv tira'u apply?

Similarly the abusive parent. There is no haqaras hatov, but isn't there
still kibud av va'eim? I have a friend who was told by R' Reuven Feinstein
that he had to sit shiv'ah for his abusive father.

I thought kibud av va'eim had to do with who physically brought you to
the planet, and thus your behavior toward them represents how you would
treat the Third Partner in bringing you into being.

: children. But when a couple takes an orphaned or abandoned child and raises
: him, their kindness is much greater, and therefore, the duty to be grateful
: for this is also greater.

Off topic: When prospective fathers call me asking for advice about
adoption, one of my first pieces of advice is that you can only do it
right if you're being as selfish about it as any other man looking to
become a father. If you are doing it because you can look at the child
and see in their behavior and personallity some continuation of yourself
into the future, fine.

But a child needs parents to grow into a healthy adult, not baalei
chessed.

And I'm not sure if teaching a child this line of reasoning is healthy.
It gets in the way of viewing themselves as part of the family's
shalsheles.




On Sun, May 22, 2016 at 04:10:45AM +0000, Rich, Joel via Avodah wrote:
:                                     I never found much written about the
: meta issues and wonder how much the prevailing conditions of the times
: influenced the decisions.

I think part of the problem is that much of this has to be done
subconsciously.

The conditions of the times change the metzi'us about which the poseiq
rules.

And also the poseiq has to try his best to come up with an answer based
on the Torah rather than zeitgeist, but no human being's best will ever
fully exclude the mood of their era.

So the second people start discussing how the times impact pesaq, the
discussion itself will change the answer -- and in ways that add rigidity
to halakhah.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             Today is the 31st day, which is
micha at aishdas.org        4 weeks and 3 days in/toward the omer.
http://www.aishdas.org   Tifferes sheb'Hod: What level of submission
Fax: (270) 514-1507                      results in harmony and balance?