[Avodah] how to fix a mamzer

[Eli Turkel via Avodah]

I am bringing in more detail the story told by R Zilberstein. He gives out
notes before the shiur and so this is all in print if anyone is interested

A man divorced his wife after a nasty settlement without leaving any
mezonot for the wife or their daughter. Later the woman married again and
had a new happy family and the new husband raised the daughter from the
first marriage supplying all her needs while the biological father had no
contact with his daughter

A few days before the daughter's marriage the father shows up holding an
invitation upset that the adoptive father is listed as the father of the
kallah and the biological father isn't mentioned at all.
He screamed is the husband of your mother really your father?
Though he had no contact with his daughter he described the shame he had
with his friends and demanded that they print a new invitation with himself
listed as the father of the bride

The daughter came to R Zilberstein asking what to do. He answered that the
mitzvah of kibud av ve-em is a great mitzvah but it doesn't allow for lies.
Since the one listed as the father of the bride is the one who brought her
up and did everything for her including all expenses and he supplies the
dowry and the rest of the wedding expenses he thus considered the father of
the bride. Since the biological father abandoned the daughter he has no
right to have his name listed on the invitation.

The daughter returned to her father with the psak of R Zilberstein and the
father remarked that he was willing to pay the expenses of the wedding. The
daughter returned to R. Zilberstein. After consulting with R Nissin
Karelitz they paskened that to be considered the father of the bride he
also needs to participate in buying an apartment.

R Zilberstein noted that in the ketuba is listed the biological father in
order to prevent marriage with relatives. When the biological father is not
alive then one lists the adoptive father but when he is alive the
biological father is listed. He was not sure whether the language should be
"be abuha" or "be nasa" . The first would be a lie since she didn't live
with her father but the second language is used only for an orphaned bride.
His preferred remedy was to leave that phrase out completely.

Again anyone who wants to see the Hebrew original can contact me



-- 
Eli Turkel
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