[Avodah] Spouses with Conflicting Customs

[Zev Sero via Avodah]

On 05/04/2015 12:45 PM, Micha Berger via Avodah wrote:
> On Mon, May 04, 2015 at 11:47:38AM +0000, RAM wrote on the thread
> "A married sister":
> : In this morning's parsha, we learn that a kohen may m'tamei himself
> : for his unmarried sister, but not for one who has been married. I
> : used to think that this was because upon marriage, the sister leaves
> : the family that she grew up in, and is no longer part of that family,
> : and becomes part of her husband's family...
>
> But Tue, Mar 31, 2015 at 02:12:59AM +0000, RAM wrote on this subject:
>> I once heard an interesting argument against Rav Moshe's logic on
>> this point. He is viewing the wife as the one who is moving to a new
>> location, but we have an explicit pasuk that takes the opposite view:
>> Bereshis 2:24 - "Therefore, a man will desert his father and his mother,
>> and stick to his wife." (The woman may of may not leave her parents,
>> but the man explicitly does.)
>
>> Granted that there are other arguments for the wife taking the husband's
>> minhagim - terumah is the first that comes to my mind. But if Rav Moshe's
>> main argument is Minhag Hamakom, I wonder how he would have defended it
>> against this pasuk.
>
> Anyone else see one answering the other?

Not at all.  Her father must still become tamei for her.  Only her brothers
may not.

What's more, suppose her husband dies without issue.  She returns to her
father's house, and is once more entitled to eat terumah and kodshim.
Now suppose the father dies; she continues to eat the terumah and kodshim
that her brothers bring home. When she dies the brothers are the only people
left who sit shiva for her, and yet they are not allowed to become tamei for
her unless there is literally nobody else who can do it!


-- 
Zev Sero               I have a right to stand on my own defence, if you
zev at sero.name          intend to commit felony...if a robber meets me in
                        the street and commands me to surrender my purse,
                        I have a right to kill him without asking questions
                                               -- John Adams