[Avodah] honoring the deceased's wish

[T613K at aol.com]

In a message dated 9/23/2012 10:34:12 A.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  
micha at aishdas.org writes:
 
On Sun,  Sep 23, 2012 at 06:36:00AM -0700, Harry Maryles wrote:
: R' Shimon told him  about his father's Tzava'ah. Whereupon the Chozeh
: told him that R'  Yisroel Leib was in the Olam Ha'Emes now and knew that
: the correct Nusach  was Nusach Sephard (which is used by most Chasidim)
: which includes that  phrase. Implying that he should start saying it.

Lo bashamayim hi would  imply that RYLH knowing what heaven thinks is more
correct doesn't mean he  knows what we should be doing.  No?

GCT!
-Micha

 
>>>>>
 
it is wrong to compare saying Kaddish in Nusach Sfard  (chassidish) with 
not saying Kaddish at all.
 
If a father asks his son not to say Kaddish, the son should disregard his  
father's wishes because now that his father is in the olam ha'emes, he 
surely  does wish his son to say Kaddish.  Obeying halacha is not something that 
is  "in Shamayim" -- it is here, we have been given the Torah.
 
As for obeying a father who wants a Litvishe rather than a chassidishe  
Kaddish, in that case the son should honor the father's wishes, because it  
doesn't matter which Kaddish is said as long as a Kaddish is said.  What  
matters in this case is honoring your father.
 
Chassidim would say about their nusach that now that the Arizal and the  
Baal Shem Tov have lived here on earth, nussach sfard is not bashamayim but 
down  here on earth.   They would say that we here on earth now know what is  
preferred in Heaven.
 
My own feeling is that as long as you are following your father's nusach or 
 your rebbe's nusach (not sure which trumps which), you are doing the right 
thing  and Litvishe, chassidishe, and Sephardi tefillos are all good.  
Yekkes'  tefillos are good, Hungarians' are good, Poilishe Jews' are good, 
Persian  Jews' and Yemenite Jews' tefillos are all good.  Mutual respect  is an 
aspect of "vehavta lerei'acha kamocha" and lo baShamayim hi.
 
 

--Toby Katz
GCT
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