[Avodah] Periods of aveilut

[Micha Berger]

On Fri, Jun 15, 2012 at 10:00:45AM -0700, Lengelhart at Yahoo.com wrote:
: I don't mean to sound callous, but why have legislated periods of
: mourning for any relative.

It saves the mourner from wondering if they did enough to honor the one
they lost, or for overdoing it and wallowing in their misery too long.
Then there is the person who is convinced that life is supposed to go on,
and they bury their feelings where they fester internally... Knowing in
advance what is "usual and customary" (to quote my medical insurance)
can save a lot of emotional pain.

Then there is what aveilus impresses on the mourner, arguably a litany
of acts designed to remind a person that they aren't a body living
in this world, but a soul temporarily housed in a body. Tearing the clothes,
eschewing new clothes, not shaving -- all deprecations of the importance
of one's appearance. No relations. Shoes might be one of the other, but
not sitting above the ground is man not being at home in the world. Doubly
so when you consider the homonimity of yashav -- to dwell somewhere or to
sit. And when is a person more ready to accept that than when realing from
someone's death?

:-)BBii!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             When faced with a decision ask yourself,
micha at aishdas.org        "How would I decide if it were Ne'ilah now,
http://www.aishdas.org   at the closing moments of Yom Kippur?"
Fax: (270) 514-1507                            - Rav Yisrael Salanter