[Avodah] spouse vs parent

[Eli Turkel]

<< These answers all were given at a nichum aveilim visit to RYBS, in the
year when he had three losses -- mother, brother and wife -- in six
months. The question came up while my father and Rav Hutner were there.
Rav Hutner gave the mesora-chain answer. (His wording was that when
a father passes away, the son is one generation farther from Sinai.)
My father's answer was that parents can have more than one child, while
a child has only one of each parent. RYBS gave the answer of the extra
months being for kibbud av va'eim. >>

nice story.
I believe that RMF also held that the 12 months is from kibud av va-em.
>From memory, the question was about a woman who's parent had passed away
and during the year her husband was being honored at a fancy dinner and the
question was whether she could attend. RMF answered that a wife's
obligations to her husband overrides kibud av va-em. Since, aveilut of the
12 months was an instance of kibud av ve-am therefore, honoring her husband
overcomes the aveilut.

-- 
Eli Turkel
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