[Avodah] Can a woman wear a wig if her mother did not?

[T613K at aol.com]

In a message dated 7/6/2011, llevine at stevens.edu writes:
 
>>From _http://tinyurl.com/3prdne8_ (http://tinyurl.com/3prdne8) 

The  question arose about a young woman who was getting married, whose 
mother did  not wear a wig. She wished to know that if she changed from her 
family custom  of wearing head coverings (scarves and hats) and would start 
wearing a Peah  Nochrith (wig), was there (a) a problem with this and (b) was 
she required to  do Hattarath Nedarim (an annulment of vows) since this was 
something  that was long accepted in her home and considered a  vow?<<

 
>>>>>
 
 
My mother covers her hair with turban-type hats that fully cover her hair  
(not like the hats worn by women in some circles who permit the showing of 
some  hair in front).  However, I have worn a sheitel since I got  married.  
There is no issue of hataras nedarim nor do we have  matrilineal minhagim -- 
not patrilineal minhagim either, for that matter, in the  case of a married 
woman. Is there such a word as "virilineal"  -- husband-based?  I grew up 
in a home where knaidlach were never  served at the seder but no one ever 
suggested that I, when I married a  Litvak, had to do hataras nedarim before 
eating knaidlach on Pesach.   As for keeping my mother's minhagim -- there's 
no such thing.  I follow my  husband's minhagim, and that is the norm.
 
Even if your mother did make a vow not to wear a sheitel, parents' vows are 
 not binding on their children.  A nazir's children do not have to refrain  
from wine.
 
However, I will mention one area where there may possibly be a matrilineal  
minhag, and that is Shabbos candle lighting.  When I got married, I  was 
under the impression that if your mother lights a candle for each child,  then 
you, when you have your own home, should follow your mother's custom in  
this.  However, my husband said that you follow your husband's  custom.  His 
custom (which technically then is my mother-in-law's A'H  custom) is to light 
only two candles.  So that is what I do.  If I  felt strongly about it, he 
probably wouldn't mind my adding extra candles for  the children, but in the 
event I have not done so.  I wonder what the  chevra here say about 
candle-lighting -- mother's or mother-in-law's  minhag?  More than with the issue 
of head-covering, I can see where people  might think it goes according to 
the mother because candle-lighting is one of  the three special mitzvos for 
women.  In contrast, issues of tznius, what  to wear, fashion and 
head-covering, go according to the community of which you  are part, and normally a wife 
is part of her husband's community.
 

--Toby Katz
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