[Avodah] ktuba of son of non jewish father

[Daniel Israel]

On Apr 28, 2011, at 1:00 PM, Zev Sero wrote:
> On 29/04/2011 10:54 AM, menucha wrote:
>> The chatan is distraught at the thought of his father not being
>> mentioned, and by the fact that this is not "the normal way of  
>> writing a
>> ketuba".
>> There are definitely issues here of not getting the chatan "turned  
>> off
>> to judaism" etc.
>
> Is he upset at the very idea that the ketuba will be written  
> differently,
> that halacha regards his circumstances as different, or is it just  
> that
> he's afraid of being embarrassed if it's read out loud?  Because if  
> that's
> the problem, there's a simple solution: whoever reads it under the  
> chupah
> should skip the fathers' names on both sides.  Nor is there any  
> need at
> all to have the ketuba framed and put on the wall for all to see  
> (another
> very modern "tradition" that has no more basis than lining up for  
> pizza on
> motzaei yom tov).

Seconding RZS's response here: if the issue is embarrassment due to a  
public presentation of his non-standard yichus, the well known  
solution is that no one other than the mesader kiddushin, eidim, and  
whoever reads the ketubah actually need to see what is written in  
it.  The reader can mumble, or slightly change the text by the names  
so as to avoid embarrassment, and the ketubah never has to be  
displayed.  (Which also saves money on buying a fancy ketubah; a  
simple pre-printed form or even something typed up by the Rav's  
secretary is fine.)

OTOH, if what is bothering him is the fact that the halacha does not  
recognize his father as belonging on the ketubah, then IMHO we are in  
the territory beyond not turning someone off, and into not  
accommodating fundamentally problematic ideas.  Of course such issues  
have to be judged on a case by case basis, but at some point it  
becomes appropriate to confront someone and point out where there  
notions have deviated from a proper Torah perspective, even at the  
risk of alienating them.

--
Daniel M. Israel
daniel at kolberamah.org



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