[Avodah] attending a C service [was: More on Reviving a Ritual of Tending...]

[Micha Berger]

On Thu, Jan 06, 2011 at 12:22:24AM -0500, T613K at aol.com wrote:
: My father (R' Nachman Bulman, for newbies) held that it is assur to  enter 
: a C or R sanctuary for any reason.  He, and much of the RW Torah  world, 
: sharply disagreed with RYBS and parts of the MO world on this  issue...

FWIW, in general, RYBS was pretty machmir on this stuff. Many in the RW
world would agree to using a catering hall owned by a non-O synagogue;
he would not.

I think that reducing the question to RW vs MO misses too much of the
richness of the issue to be of use.

: Personally R' Bulman dealt with numerous individuals, probably  thousands 
: over the years, who had serious family conflicts with non-O relatives, non-O
: simchas and occasions, visits home to non-O parents and so on.  He guided 
: them step by step as to what to say and how to behave in order to be  
: mefayes their disgruntled relatives.  But bending on principle was not part of
: the allowable spectrum of reaction to these painful family situations...

It can be seen as a chumerah in kibud av va'eim, not "bending".

But in any case...

When I was engaged, and my kalah's first cousin was being called up to
read for her bt mitzvah, R' Dovid Lifshitz zt"l gave us similar advice
to the one recorded in RYBS's name. I do not know if this was general
advice, or if the fact that it was also a first impression that I would
be making added to the urgency of my fiance's kibud eim issues.

And I think the point of standing when they did and sitting when they
did was so as not to be rude, not to "fake it".

:-)BBii!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             The trick is learning to be passionate in one's
micha at aishdas.org        ideals, but compassionate to one's peers.
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