[Avodah] zecher lechurban

[Poppers, Michael]

In Avodah V27n151#1, RJD wrote:
> I once heard Rabbi A Kimche (of London) point out that the shulchan aruch (OC 560:1-2) brings a series of things we're supposed to do nowadays to remind us of the destruction of Yerushalayim - (1) leaving an area of the home unpainted, (2) making a point of not putting out all one's fine vessels on the table at once, (3) women not wearing all their jewellery at once [as in actively omitting to put an item on] and (4) a chatan placing ash on his forehead. (He continues with others in simanim 3-5).
> The Rema then adds that in some places, they have the minhag to break a glass under the chupa.
> The only one of these that appears to be consistently practiced (or even widely known about) is the glass under the chuppa - and what do we do the instant the glass is smashed, symbolising the churban? We shout "mazel tov"! <
Who says Am Yisrael do not "consistently practice" reminders 2 (which, BTW, seems more accurately translated as leaving an open table slot [i.e. no place setting] when making a s'udah for guests) and 3?  I can't speak to #3, but don't we consider leil Seider as an exception to the "norm" of the zeicher you listed as #2?  As for #4, those who follow Maran without exception may want to chime in; RMA's language implies to me that there are many chuppah-time minhagim among Am Yisrael, with the common thread being (and this, I think, is the key point and the common thread bichlal) "k'dei lizkor es Y'rushalayim."  So long as the z'chirah (e.g. shviras kos) is heartfelt, a subsequent return to simchah via "Mazal Tov!"s, etc. is IMHO appropriate. Thanks. 

All the best from 
-- Michael Poppers via BB pager