[Avodah] Children at a Wedding

[Akiva Blum]

From: Joseph C. Kaplan
	
Me: On the contrary. Would you be able to tell your child "Sorry, you can't come
to my wedding. My new husband/wife doesn't like you/may not like you/feels
uncomfortable with you around/may feel uncomfortable with you around, etc."

					 
Much better to have a fixed minhag. Sorry kid, you can't come, that's the
minhag!
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
					 
RJK :  And is it the minhag that wealthy people curtail wedding expenses?  Some
do and some don't; they're grown-ups and they use their judgment and make
decisions. And we don't tell them what to do. 
					 
Me: Just because we don't have a minhag, doesn't mean we wouldn't be better off
with one.
					 
Anyway, the point is that forgoing your own enjoyment in favor of consideration
of others tzar is well understood.
					 
RJK: If there was a clear halacha about this, that's one thing.  but minhag?
Times change and some minhagim outlive their usefulness. 
					 
Me: Where do you see that times have changed in these matters. 
					 
Akiva