[Avodah] Y'fas to'ar, etc.

[Cantor Wolberg]

The following has always bothered me and let me explain why... 
(following the text and commentaries)

11. and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you desire  
her, you may take [her] for yourself as a wife.
[and you desire her,] you may take [her] for yourself as a wife. [Not  
that you are commanded to take this woman as a wife,] but Scripture  
[in permitting this marriage] is speaking only against the evil  
inclination [, which drives him to desire her]. For if the Holy One,  
blessed is He, would not permit her to him, he would take her  
illicitly. [Tanchuma 1]

13. And she shall remove the garment of her captivity from upon  
herself, and stay in your house, and weep for her father and her  
mother for a full month. After that, you may be intimate with her and  
possess her, and she will be a wife for you.
and weep for her father and her mother. Why is all this necessary? So  
that an Israelite woman [i.e., this man’s Jewish wife] should be  
happy, and this [gentile captive woman] should be grief-stricken, an  
Israelite woman should be dressed up, and this one should make herself  
repulsive. — [Sifrei 21:11]

The explanation of pasuk 11 that if God did not permit her to him, he  
would then take her illicitly, flies in the face of the whole point of  
Torah. We are given the yetzer tov and the yetzer ra and are  
constantly challenged with overcoming the latter. With the reasoning  
given, why not allow adulterous relationships when a man comes across  
a beautiful woman. Why not allow eating treif if one is overcome by a  
delicious looking steak?  I don't mean to sound facetious, but is  
there anyone out there who understands my point?  We have so many  
mitzvot that can be rationalized the same way.

The explanation of pasuk 13 seems equally irrational. Firstly, a woman  
is taken against her will, and then we're being so thoughtful by  
allowing her to cry for her parents a whole month. Then, he can be  
intimate with her. The commentary continues to say that the Jewish  
woman should be happy?!  Give me a break. This is totally irrational  
and both women (the captive and his wife) are objects and are being  
used.

I would like to ask the women reading this if they would be happy if  
their husbands acted in such a manner?

ri
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