<html><body style="word-wrap: break-word; -webkit-nbsp-mode: space; -webkit-line-break: after-white-space; "><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; "><b><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 20px; "><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal;">The following has always bothered me and let me explain why...(following the text and commentaries)</span></font></span></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="'Times New Roman'" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px;"><br></span></font></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 20px; "><b><a class="pskNum" href="http://www.chabad.org/parshah/rashi/text.asp?AID=36237&p=1&tDate=9%2F7%2F2008#2111" style="color: rgb(0, 79, 157); text-decoration: none; ">11</a>. </b>and you see among the captives a beautiful woman and you desire her, you may take [her] for yourself as a wife.</span></div>[and you desire her,] you may take [her] for yourself as a wife. </b><co:rashibody>[Not that you are commanded to take this woman as a wife,] but Scripture [in permitting this marriage] is speaking only against the evil inclination [, which drives him to desire her]. For if the Holy One, blessed is He, would not permit her to him, he would take her illicitly. [<i>Tanchuma </i>1]</co:rashibody></span><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Verdana" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Verdana" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'; font-size: 16px; line-height: 20px; "><b><a class="pskNum" href="http://www.chabad.org/parshah/rashi/text.asp?AID=36237&p=1&tDate=9%2F7%2F2008#2113" style="color: rgb(0, 79, 157); text-decoration: none; ">13</a>. </b>And she shall remove the garment of her captivity from upon herself, and stay in your house, and weep for her father and her mother for a full month. After that, you may be intimate with her and possess her, and she will be a wife for you.</span></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Verdana" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><b>and weep for her father and her mother. </b><co:rashibody>Why is all this necessary? So that an Israelite woman [i.e., this man’s Jewish wife] should be happy, and this [gentile captive woman] should be grief-stricken, an Israelite woman should be dressed up, and this one should make herself repulsive. — [<em>Sifrei</em> 21:11]</co:rashibody></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Verdana" size="4"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br></span></font></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px; "><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial">The explanation of pasuk 11 that if God did not permit her to him, he would then take her illicitly, flies in the face of the whole point of Torah. We are given the yetzer tov and the yetzer ra and are constantly challenged with overcoming the latter. With the reasoning given, why not allow adulterous relationships when a man comes across a beautiful woman. Why not allow eating treif if one is overcome by a delicious looking steak? I don't mean to sound facetious, but is there anyone out there who understands my point? We have so many mitzvot that can be rationalized the same way. </font></span></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">The explanation of pasuk 13 seems equally irrational. Firstly, a woman is taken against her will, and then we're being so thoughtful by allowing her to cry for her parents a whole month. Then, he can be intimate with her. The commentary continues to say that the Jewish woman should be happy?! Give me a break. This is totally irrational and both women (the captive and his wife) are objects and are being used.</span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">I would like to ask the women reading this if they would be happy if their husbands acted in such a manner?</span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;"><br></span></font></div><div><font class="Apple-style-span" face="Arial"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">ri</span></font></div></body></html>