[Avodah] Re'eh "You are Children to HaShem your God..." [Deut. 14:1]

[Cantor Wolberg]

"You are Children to HaShem your God..." [Deut. 14:1]
The Nesivos Shalom, from the Rebbe R' Shalom Berzovsky of Slonim,  
calls these words the foundation of Judaism -- to recognize that  
regardless of our situation,
we are still God's children.

A child never stops being his or her parent's child. The Rebbe, R'  
Mordechai of Chernobyl, once had a guest at his table who had  
committed a great sin, and was
moaning and sighing about the terrible thing which he had done. The  
Rebbe said that if someone is in that situation, and does not realize  
that God accepts his sighs
and moans, then he is also a denier of God, meaning that he must  
realize regardless of his situation, he remains God's child and God  
wants him back.The Jewish people
are called "God's children" even if they are sinning and not doing the  
will of God.

The Sforno in his commentary explains, "It is not appropriate to show  
extreme worry and pain for any relative or friend who passes away,  
when there is a
relative Who is of greater importance, value, and Who is the basis of  
all good (that being the Almighty)".

Therefore Moshe says to the Jewish people, "You are God's Children" to  
indicate that He is our eternal Father and there is no basis to worry  
and grieve at an extreme
level for any deceased.  Regardless of who passes away, a Jew is never  
abandoned just as a father does not abandon his child. Just as a  
parent loves his child more than
the child could ever love his parent, the Torah is teaching us that  
God values us as His Children.  If a Jew were to lacerate himself or  
pull the hair out of his head (known in
psychiatric terminology as trichotillomania) as a result of a loved  
one passing away, this behavior would indicate that he believes that  
he has nowhere to turn and he is in a
hopeless state, which is an oversight of God's special relationship  
with him.

It is a basic tenet of Jewish belief that when a person passes away,  
his spirituality (which is his essence) is eternal.  Therefore a  
person who grieves excessively or for too long
a period, not only is unaware of God's special relationship, but also  
hasn't understood the existence of an eternal soul.  Thus, it is a  
negative commandment to express excessive
grief in this manner. Though this may seem insensitive to some, it  
actually gives hope, trust, confidence and faith that there is more to  
come (in a most positive and optimistic sense),
and thus provides comfort and solace to one who has suffered a loss.  
We must understand that death is not final. It only severs a  
relationship temporarily and we are assured that
at some point in the future, it will be reignited and we will be  
reunited.

ri

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