[Avodah] the cohen gadol and marriage to a pubescent girl

[Micha Berger]

On Mon, Jun 30, 2008 at 12:15:21PM +0300, Yaacov Shulman wrote:
: I have adapted as a working principle the idea that "darkei noam"--"ways of
: pleasantness"--constitutes an essential dynamic in Torah...

But what does it mean? Obviously not that it's okay to avoid hurting
grandma's feelings if she asks you to drive over on Shabbos.

Derakheha darkhei no'am is descriptive, not prescriptive. Perhaps if a
poseiq could argue either way, pick the no'am one. (E.g. a poseiq who
isn't sure about a business handshake between a man and a woman may
decide that if her hand is out already, better I take it than offend
here.) But there is no mandate to change pesaq over it.

: And it would seem that every generation needs wider and new applications of
: darkei noam as we become sensitized to matters that weren't of import in
: previous generations.

It also would make a difference as to whether or not we ought to be
sensitive to the matter. I don't think the Torah wants us to coddle
ourselves into a bunch of hypersensitive people who have to walk on
eggshells when around each other.

: As I look at it, this halachah follows its interior logic to the ultimate
: degree....

As it should.

...
: As far as I see, practically speaking there is a way of avoiding this. If a
: cohen gadol is widowed, he can simply resign and allow another cohen who is
: already married to take his place.  But that seems very unwieldy and not the
: intent of the halachah.  Why is this halachah there in the first place?

As noted, in most of human history, getting married at 12-1/2 was
normal. Are we more right or more wrong? You can't use your instinctive
answer, because it's that very instinct that we're assessing.

But in any case, "darkei shalom" doesn't trump clearcut chiyuvim. It's a
deOraisa. If you can't agree with its internal logic, declare it a choq
and submit.

On Tue, Jul 01, 2008 at 08:43:49AM -0400, Rich, Joel wrote:
: True, but doesn't this get to an issue of the Torah was given for all
: times and all places?

Well, not the laws of a kohein gadol. Perhaps our late emotional maturity
is part of why we don't have one yet. Or perhaps kohanim gedolim in
bayis shelishi will all be men who are already married.

Tir'u baTov!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             A wise man is careful during the Purim banquet
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