[Avodah] Kaddish Yasom

[T613K at aol.com]

>>I was told to not participate in the actual shoveling at my  father's 
levayah.  I was very moved by the fact that, although most of  the people 
there were not frum and were unused to filling in the grave  themselves, 
they all willingly finished the job.  [--RDE]<<




>>>>>
I have a question:  Is it a halacha or a minhag that only Jews --  and not 
the cemetery workers -- cover the casket with the first shovelfuls of  earth?
 
Also, is it right or wrong or a matter of differing  minhagim that women 
shovel earth into the grave?
 
What if there are no Jewish men present?  
 
Strangely, I actually was once at a levaya of a man who passed away here  in 
Florida, and the only people present were myself, the niftar's daughter  (who 
did not live in Florida and did not know anyone else here), and  several 
funeral home workers.  I did not know what to do and would  like to hear opinions 
here as to what we should have done.   
 
After the levaya I brought my friend to my home, where she sat shiva for  a 
few hours and I arranged for a minyan in my house for mincha, and then she  
flew back to her own home town for the rest of shiva.  I don't know whether  any 
of that -- sitting shiva in my home and having a minyan -- was necessary or  
even desirable, but since she had just buried her father and was all alone  
here, I thought that something should be done for her that might bring her  
comfort.




--Toby  Katz
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