[Avodah] Kaddish Yasom

[Rich, Joel]

On a related topic, a good friend of mine, an O. musmach lost his father
and there were many O. rabbis at the levaya.
He was told (contrary to what many feel is proper) that it was not
kovodik for a son to shovel earth, so he refrained from what he thought
was correct. Up until he told me that, I always encouraged children to
participate in the mitzvah. Has anyone ever heard of this minhag or
halacha?
ri
_______________________________________________
The general approach I've seen is to at most do a few symbolic shovels.
I've asked a number of Rabbis over the years and did not hear of a
hakpada (I asked since it seemed to me all things being equal, what
greater kavod hameit could there be than being actively  involved in the
final elements for one's loved one) When Avi Mori Vrabbi ZLL"HH was
niftar,I acted accordingly.

KT
Joel Rich
THIS MESSAGE IS INTENDED ONLY FOR THE USE OF THE 
ADDRESSEE.  IT MAY CONTAIN PRIVILEGED OR CONFIDENTIAL 
INFORMATION THAT IS EXEMPT FROM DISCLOSURE.  Dissemination, 
distribution or copying of this message by anyone other than the addressee is 
strictly prohibited.  If you received this message in error, please notify us 
immediately by replying: "Received in error" and delete the message.  
Thank you.