[Avodah] Kaddish Yasom -- Misplaced Priority?

[SBA]

From: "kennethgmiller at juno.com" < >
R' SBA wrote:
> There isn't any doubt at all that by being oyver on
. some baalei yorzeit when
> at the amud, race through the whole tefila, with many
> unable to keep up or answer omein. I usually ask them if
> they think they have really achieved any 'tova' for the
> neshama?

When you wrote "I usually ask them", did you mean that you merely *want* to
ask them, or that you actually *do* ask them?
>>

In our shul- where everybody knows everybody (and is often also related), it
is rare that I am not on good terms with the baal tefilah. Thus I actually
do ask them this.

>>>if you actually *have* pointed this out to people, please share what
reactions you've gotten from them. How often do they understand what you
mean, and does it ever result in an actual improvement?

Most listen and understand and often we see some improvement. 
But I wouldn't talk about this to a person who I know won't accept it from
me. Mutav sheyihyu shogegin..

>>(Rare is the person who understands his abilities and limitations. One
such was Mr. Sky of Elizabeth, who would often decline the amud, saying,
"When he died, my father turned me into a yasom. He didn't turn me into a
chazan.")
===

We used to have an old timer here, who, despite the fact that he didn't have
a clue, loved the amud.

When he went to the amud, the letzim used to say that he was a chiyuv -
yorzeit.  He killed this tefilla  exactly a year ago...

SBA