[Avodah] Kaddish Yasom

[kennethgmiller at juno.com]

Cantor Wolberg asked:
> He was told (contrary to what many feel is proper) that it was
> not kovodik for a son to shovel earth, so he refrained from
> what he thought was correct. Up until he told me that, I always 
> encouraged children to participate in the mitzvah. Has anyone
> ever heard of this minhag or halacha?

I am not expert on the details of whether or not children are an exception to this shoveling, but I'd like to relate a story from the levaya of my father a"h.

While my brothers and I were shoveling, someone -- within hearing range of my mother -- commented, in a deprecating tone, "Look at that! They're burying their own father!!!"

When my mother related this to me, I told her that I wish I'd have heard that comment, because my response would have been, "He tucked me into bed many times. Why shouldn't I return the favor?"

Akiva Miller
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