[Avodah] chumrot of sefardim (was "sweet chalot")

[MPoppers at kayescholer.com]

In Avodah Digest V23#102, RET responded to me:
[old RET] >>> Again the major question for me is what do sefardim in 
practice when they
are invited out? <<<
[old me] >> Why assume that a guest in someone's home isn't permitted to 
follow the
practices of his host, assuming those practices are Halachically
legitimate?  More than that he is permitted, I would think he is 
*mandated*
to follow them unless his host explicitly allows or makes allowance for 
him
to "do his own thing." <<
> In his teshuva ROY states explicitly that as a guest one either requests 
the
host to provide non-sweetened challot or else brings ones own... <
(and, as part of our subsequent private dialogue, RET sent me the relevant 
e-mails from Halacha Yomit <info at halachayomit.co.il> which quoted ROY on 
this topic).

I understand the need for, ceteris paribus, maintaining one's Halachah 
even while in the domain of someone whose Halachah is legitimately 
different.  However, as I implied (perhaps not clearly enough) before, the 
situation of being a guest in that someone/host's home involves the host's 
sensibilities.  As RET noted privately, ROY's p'saq (which, after writing 
"v'lachein min harauy sheyodia' l'ma'archo meirosh shel'minhag haS'faradim 
din challah m'suqah k'din ugah," adds "o shey'da-eig l'havi imo challos 
r'gilos v'yochal meihen v'yatza y'dei chovaso" [any errors in 
transliteration are mine]) might change if there is a possibility that the 
host would be insulted by the actions of a guest following his own 
Halachah if that guest wasn't able to previously speak with his host about 
the issue.  Well, a guest often doesn't know whether or not his host would 
be insulted!  The resultant Q is whether the guest should take a chance on 
insulting rather than definitely follow the Halachah of his host, and, 
again, I would think he should not take such a chance and only follow his 
own Halachah if he knows the host will be OK with his actions.  Perhaps 
the Chevra can pitch in with any SHuT, either from ROY or from another 
poseiq who holds similar views re "sweet challot," that deal with the bein 
adam lachaveiro aspect of being an orach -- in the meantime, I think ROY's 
words imply that we're dealing with someone who received the invitation 
far enough in advance that he could bring his own "challos r'gilos" (and, 
accordingly, should make every effort to clear such an action with his 
host ahead of the appointed time) and not with a spur-of-the-moment 
invitee (which, IMHO, better fits the definition of hachnasas orchim, but 
that's a subject for another time...).

Shabbas Shalom and all the best from
Michael Poppers * Elizabeth, NJ, USA
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