[Avodah] Child marrying against Parents' wishes
T613K at aol.com
T613K at aol.com
Tue May 1 16:04:59 PDT 2007
From: Daniel Eidensohn <yadmoshe at 012.net.il>
>>However if the potential mate is in fact observant but is a baal tshuva
or a ger. or a mixed marriage of American and Israeli or ashkenaz with
sefardi? A litvak marrying a chasid? What about biracial? If the person
is retarded or has Down's syndrome? What about ben or bas nidah? Former
drug addict or alcoholic?
Does anyone know of psak in these types of cases?<<
Daniel Eidensohn
>>>>>
Don't know a source -- only anecdotal. One case I know of was a young man
who married the daughter of a giyores -- the chassan's parents refused to come
to the wedding, even though my father got involved himself and tried to
persuade the parents to change their minds. The parents were eventually
reconciled to their son's marriage -- they went to the bris when their first
grandchild was born.
The other case I know of was the marriage of a BT man (who had been frum a
long time and had learned in mainstream yeshivos) and FFB woman where my
father said, in regard to the question of ben nidah, "Yeshiva is a mikva."
My impression is that my father wouldn't have given a blanket psak -- one
may marry against his parents' wishes, period -- but would want to know on a
case by case basis whether the parents' objections were justified, before
advising the chassan (and kallah) what to do.
This gets into "da'as Torah" territory, which some object to because it is
somewhat amorphous and depends on how much you trust the particular da'as
Torah you're consulting. Some people want clear psak with written sources, and
will not be satisfied with anything else.
--Toby Katz
=============
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