[Avodah] kibud av ve-em

[Eli Turkel]

I was recently learning hilchot kibud av ve-em in our weekly halacha shiur.
It seems theo me that at least it my circles it is virtually impossible for
any modern teenager to keep these halachot
some examples

ROY (Yabea Ober)
One cannot ask ones mother or father to cook food for them or to bring in
food or drink even after asking mechila

R Kareliz (Chut Shani)
1, If the parents are going to a store the child cannot ask them to buy
things for them unless there is no way for the child to buy it themselves.
The child can hint as long as the father is not a talmod chacham
2. One cannot ask ones parents to turn off the lights in the room or to
bring a book (again it is allowed by hinting as long as the father is not a
TC)
3. One cannot ask ones parents to pass the salt - only hint by asking "Is
there salt at the end of the table?"

A separate question: There is a halcha of kavod for the edlest sibling
(machloket if for all the older siblings). This seems to be very dangerous
for 2 teenagers relatively close in age.
I could just see my eldest telling her brother a year younger that he has
to give her kavod.
They fought enough as it is.
There is a discussion if kavod of the older brother is because of the
parents or independent.
I was once told that if it because of the parents they can override that
kavod for fighting siblings. If it is independent they are stuck

Any ideas for a modern family with teenagers?
We have discussed many times on this list teenagers going OTD. These
halachot might be an extra wedge for kids already having problems. It seems
the situation is even worse when the father is a TC. In many cases mechila
doesnt seem to help.

-- 
Eli Turkel
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