[Avodah] To Stand or Not to Stand for a Chosson and Kallah

Joseph C. Kaplan jkaplan at tenzerlunin.com
Wed Nov 2 07:34:36 PDT 2011


""Why not" would be because of Chukos Hagoyim. That said, another reason I
heard (and I think I posted it last time this came up), is that we stand
before people who are doing a mitzvah. The chosson and kallah are coming to
do the mitzvos (to link to a recent thread) of Ki Yikach Ish Ishah and
Piryah V'rivyah, so we stand in their honor."

Why is it chukat hagoyim?  I've seen lots of non-Jewish weddings on TV and don't remember the guests standing when the bride and groom walk in. I do recall that they didn't stand at William and Kate's wedding.

As far as why we do it.  ISTM that "chosson domeh lemelech" and "they are doing a mitzvah" are all post facto explanations.  My best guess is that we do it as a grass roots action of giving honor to the bride and groom, not because they're royalty or doing a mitzvah, but because they're -- you guessed it, a bride and groom and today's their big day.  Really simple; no need for any halachic lomdos. And once some people started doing it, it caught on because it appealed to us.  There's no halachic mandate to do it, but does everything we do need a halachic mandate? And do we have to search for some reason to prohibit every new thing that's done?

Joseph Kaplan

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