[Avodah] a troubling halacha

[kennethgmiller at juno.com]

R' Eli Turkel wrote:
> In the latest shiur of R. Zilberstein he repeated the
> halacha against informing women of the death of a close
> relative ... since they don't say kaddish. ...
> Sitting shiva especially together with the family is of
> great importance for most people and they are greatly
> offended if denied that privelege. ... R. Zilberstein's
> reaction was that these were non-halachic reasons and
> he wasn't interested in psychological reasons of is
> importance. I fail to see why the anguish of the
> relatives (especially women) is not of importance.

I do not understand what R' Zilberstein means by "non-halachic reasons". Isn't the desire to do these mitzvos/minhagim a halachic reason?

I also don't understand what he means by "psychological reasons". If a person will be offended if a say a certain thing to him, is this a violation of mitzvos bein adam l'chaveiro, or is it merely an unimportant "psychological reason"?

Akiva Miller

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