[Avodah] troubling halacha

[Micha Berger]

On Tue, November 11, 2008 3:34 pm, R Zev Sero wrote:
: The minhag is reconcilable with RYBS's reason too.  The longer the
: person has been dead by the time the relative hears about it, the
: easier it will be for them to accept it...

I question that assertion about the metzi'us. I would think the person
undergoes all the pain of loss PLUS the pain of not doing right by the
deceased for all those years.

I understood that to be RET's report of his mother's experience as well.

SheTir'u baTov!
-micha