[Avodah] a troubling halacha

[Micha Berger]

On Fri, Nov 07, 2008 at 02:43:09PM +0200, Eli Turkel wrote:
: In the latest shiur of R. Zilberstein he repeated the halacha against
: informing women of the death of a close relative (assuming they dont
: live nearby) since they don't say kaddish.
...

What about the chiyuv mishum kibud av va'eim?

RYBS writes that aveilus mishum availus is never more than 30 days. This
is why the worst of mourning, when a parent loses a child, the aveilus
is only 30 days. The rest of the year for a parent is caused by kibud
horim, not aveilus itself.

Also, those who follow minhag Vilna and its environs would have her say
qaddish. So the assumption doesn't apply.

...
: I have great difficulty with this halacha (and have gotten a contrary
: ruling from the rabbi in charge of the Israel burial procedures)...

As I assume is the norm, since I never heard of this halakhah before.

...
: I fail to see why the anguish of the relatives (especially women) is
: not of importance.

Bottom line is I agree with you, but I don't see how the halakha works
even without this.

: In fact in the story in the gemara  R. Chiya in fact does tell Rav
: that his parents passed away but only indirectly.

Which gemara?

:-)BBii!
-Micha

-- 
Micha Berger             A life of reaction is a life of slavery,
micha at aishdas.org        intellectually and spiritually. One must
http://www.aishdas.org   fight for a life of action, not reaction.
Fax: (270) 514-1507                            -Rita Mae Brown