[Avodah] a troubling halacha

[Eli Turkel]

In the latest shiur of R. Zilberstein he repeated the halacha against
informing women of
the death of a close relative (assuming they dont live nearby) since
they don't say kaddish.
He even stated that if they live in the general area then one should
not post notices
of the death (common in Israel) so that they won't inadvertently find out.

I have great difficulty with this halacha (and have gotten a contrary
ruling from the
rabbi in charge of the Israel burial procedures)
Sitting shiva especially together with the family is of great
importance for most
people and they are greatly offended if denied that privelege. It caused great
anguish to my mother when it happened.
R. Zilberstein's reaction was that these were non-halachic reasons and
he wasn't interested
in psychological reasons of is importance.

I fail to see why the anguish of the relatives (especially women) is
not of importance.
In fact in the story in the gemara  R. Chiya in fact does tell Rav
that his parents passed
away but only indirectly.y

-- 
Eli Turkel