[Avodah] Disclosure

[kennethgmiller at juno.com]

In the thread "a troubling halacha", R' Eli Turkel wrote:
> R. Zilberstein in the shiur explicitly said not to put up
> mourning posters (common in Israel) if that will lead to
> female members finding out about the death. So he
> considers the possibility that even for relatives in town
> one should hide the information if possible

I'd like to open a discussion about some common themes which I perceive as running through several otherwise disparate threads.

In this most recent thread, we find an undisputed halacha which allows (or perhaps encourages) us to avoid telling certain relatives about a death in their family. Many of us are troubled by this, and would feel insulted if such information was withheld from us. We all agree that there can be cases where this withholding is a good idea, but we are troubled that the halacha *seems* to take this issue so lightly.

In other threads over the years, we have seen different attitudes among gedolim about teaching history, especially biographies. There are those who feel strongly that the stories must be "cleaned up" and either presented in the most immaculate way, or not at all. Others have disagree, explaining that there are many ways in which a story is more effective if the warts are exposed, and not hidden or denied.

I wonder if these two topics are actually linked. Personally, I do not understand the value of hiding a parent's death from the daughter (in a *typical* case!). I also support telling stories which show how tzadikim dealt with their difficulties, rather than pretending that there were no difficulties. In other words, I am *generally* in favor of full disclosure (while still trying to avoid saying things which are harmful or stupid). I wonder if people who support disclosure in one case, tend to support disclosure in the other as well. Similarly, I wonder if people who support silence and rosy worldviews in the first case would also tend to support it in the other.

And if I am correct in this, I also wonder what other ideas would fit this pattern. For example, I (a supporter of disclosure) am bothered by the prohibition against teaching Torah to non-Jews. In my view, it makes us look like a secret society with something to hide, rather than like an enlightened teacher for the world. I do realize that there are real and logical reasons behind this halacha, but (like the aveilus halacha above) I'm still uncomfortable with it.

Similarly, halacha allows us to impress our family or students by telling them something in the name of someone they respect, rather than in the name of the true source, who they don't respect. I understand the pedagogic reasoning behind this, but it makes things very difficult later on, when trying to sort out who said what. (And this is not a new problem; I'd guess that the #1 most frequently asked question in the entire Gemara is "How could he say ABC? We know that he said XYZ, and the two are not compatible.")

I hope I've made my question clear. Just in case I didn't, I sum it up here: Is there a common thread behind these things? And if so, is there a specific aspect of modern life which I might reject in order to make the more secretive view more palatable to me?

Akiva Miller

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